SO. Was attacked this friday.. By a girl.. She got mad in the train because she thought we made too much noise. Not just a little annoyed, no. She got really fucking pissed off. I couldn't really take her seriously, so i laughed and she hit me. When we got off the bus, she followed us and attacked me, Didn't get injured too badly. Got away with a black eye.. And a scarred mind. People here at the... Boarding school? I think. Some of them laugh at me. Last night this one guy in particular couldn't stop laughing because "You got beat up by a girl!". But of course. He didn't know that i didn't fight back.. At all. I didn't even try. And most people don't understand. This morning one guy actually asked me why i didn't do anything. I didn't know. The only people who actually said i did a good thing, not hitting her, was my mom and one of my very good friends. Which kind of lead me to the next thing, which i am kinda ashamed off... This sounds really childish, but i want my mom. I miss her really much, and she's like the only one who understands me.. Right now i just want people to leave me alone.. I wanna go home. I don't want to be here right now.. But i have to. I'm going home next weekend.
Well then.. A little drama to my life, bad Psyche all that shit. Maybe someone will start to read this soon.
Have a nice day..
fredag den 7. januar 2011
My first post this year. And as i said, this will be a prequal to the other post. There is kind of a lot about sex, or cyber sex. just to warn you:
So. As i said earlier, i had this "girlfriend" and a lot of shit happened. Well. There is something that should be considered. You see.
It all started when i broke my leg. I just stayed home in the first week, and i just sat alone in school. My social life (which was almost nonexisting) went downhill. Nobody visited me. So i used my computer more and more, and eventually i found this website. Kongregate.com. If you don't know it, it's a gaming website with a lot of games. Well, they had chat-rooms, including danish, which is the language i speak. And i started "socialising" more and more with them. And i started making friends. For example this guy called godric and a girl called mariedue. There were one who was a little bit different than the others. It was this girl, yindoom, and we got quite good friends. She played bass. And she was into metal, like me! So we started this online "band" were she would sing and play bass and would play the drums. It was awesome. It wasn't like actually being in a real band, i think it was more a friend thing. But i liked it.
Then she got into a band, but she said we could still have our online band, which i of course were happy about.
Then some time passed where nothing much happened. It got winter. Christmas was great. Then at new years evening 09/10 i got ill. I had gotten appendicitis, and went to the hospital. They removed it, and i stayed for a day or two, and then i went home. That week i was allowed to stay home, and i was of course on kongregate.com. Then yindoom came online, and she started doing some things. Sexual things. She couldn't do it in real life, but she did it on roleplay (which you can read about somewhere else). And i were confused. Because she had a girlfriend, and she said she weren't bi?? But i kind of rejected her. But then i really started liking her. I think i liked her for a long time, without knowing it. Then one of my other very good friends, who had gotten into this "marriage" thing, where she gets online married with somebody. It was kind of fun. But that friend wanted to get married again, and then yindoom said she wanted to get married too. And she asked me, and i said yes. I couldn't see why not. And we got "married". Then, in the evening, she implyed that we had sex by saying i got her pregnant. Of course this was just for fun. But then. I don't know who started it, but we of some reason just had cyber-sex. Roleplay style, in private chat. And it was the best. I really liked it. And we just had this relationship, with cyber-sex and me loving her, and, i think and hope, her loving me. But then her girlfriend broke up with her. And she was sad, which made me sad of course. And I didn't talk so much with her at that time. I loved her. I loved her a lot. And i still love her. But.
After she got over her girlfriend, she said that she was leaving to find somebody else. She was leaving kongregate to find another girl-/boyfriend. I was devistated. I just wanted to die.
A couple of months later i was told by another friend to get on the computer. I am told by this guy Jacob, that yindoom has been in an accident. She was hit by a car,, and she is hurt badly. The next tuesday he tells me that she died monday at 22:55 or something like. I'm not sure. I was broken. Once again, all i wanted to do was to die. I half-heartedly tried to drown myself in a bathtub.
A lot of time passed, and i had my ups and downs. I became friends with a girl called "FallingGirl" or Celine. And that was the girl from the other post.
Thank you for reading. I really appreciate it.
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