Road to perfection

I was at bandpractice last night, and shit was pretty fun. I got drunk again and I was playing worse than ever. Tumbling around like an idiot, and I actually told the rest of the band my situation. The drummer was like 'meh', but the singer actually comforted me a bit. And the guitarist didn't say anytihng, but that's okay, since he is my best friend, and I write with him every day. 

And today I decided to stay home from school, because I felt really weird and tired. And I am hurt pretty much everywhere. But I am sober now, and I am feeling really weird. Like I am trying to deny the fact that I was in love. Trying to look at all the bad things about my ex. Like 'she would be bitching all the time when we played LoL' or 'she wasn't even that attractive'. But this is really a lie. Because I loved her. And she was attractive, to me. To me she was pretty much perfect. Which is why it hurt so much. I can feel that I'll start crying if I write more of this shit. So yeah, just a quick update or whatever.

Also, my band is recording next monday, so I'll try getting the songs up when we get them. 

Until next time. o/

I don't even give a fuck anymore

So, I am back, I guess. Something like it at least. I had totally forgotten everything about this blog. But yeah, as the titel suggests, things aren't as good as they werea few months ago. The girl I mentioned in the latest post, the one who became my girlfriend? Yeah, we broke up last sunday night. She stopped believing in the relationship, and she didn't think it would work out because of the distance. But she said that the thought of the two of us being together in real life made her happy. That she wanted that. So yesterday I thought 'okay. I am going to go to Romania' and I told her, but she said no. Apparently she's gotten over me in less than 3 days. And here I am.. 

For the past 3 days I have gotten drunk every day. Because it makes me feel good. Now, I am not used to drinking, so I haven't been drinking that much. And far from enough to blackout. I haven't really been to school though, but I actually think I am starting to feel better. I mean, I am starting to look at the bright sides:
1: I have absolutely no reason to care about anything anymore, which means I can do pretty much anything I feel like.

2: I don't have to play games with her all the time, because even though I loved her, it stopped being fun playing with her after not very long. I have more fun playing with two of her friends, so yeah. 

3: Now I can live out my old plan for the future. To die in a car-crash, because the guitarist of my band gets drunk and drives, as a 21-year old virgin. And by doing so I give my band a big breakthrough.

But as I said, the last couple of days have been strange. Half the time I've been drunk, and the other half I have been crying, filled with apathy or both. But it does kind of feel good not to care anymore. 

I know I said this too in my last post, but I actually think I might start blogging regularly. I mean, now  I at least have something to blog about. Nevertheless, I WILL write one more post withing the next year... I hope. 

Untill next time. o/