lørdag den 31. december 2011

Them there feelings ykno

I'm just gonna start out with a question: Can everybody who reads this tell me what the fuck is wrong with me?

So. I was playing League of Legends with some friends, and though we lost horribly, one of our teammates was nice. It turned out to be a girl. So we added her to the Skype-convo we had going, and played some more with her, and some of her friends.
Now, this girl seemed to have a habit of being a bitch, and for some fucked up reason, her comments got through to me, and hurt my feelings. Not only is this not very normal, but it hurt my feelings really much. So of course, i got mad at her, and told her i wouldn't talk to her. At this time she wasn't in the skype-call, but she was in the chat. My friends kept chatting with her though. Or, one of them at least (it's some time ago, so i sort of forgot some of it). But i am very forgiving, so after a few apologizes and shit, i forgave her, and everything was good. 

But apparently, some of the things she said (the good things) just hit me too hard. It was reason for me not being able to sleep, and roll around for fucking hours or something. And i still can't stop thinking, especially now. Because, today (or night or whatever) she was at a party, or some shit like that. She might have been the host or co-host, since she was able to use her computer, and she got drunk. She would then come back at times, and then leave. And then, one of the times she asked me what i did to stay awake, but then she re-phrased the question into what i would to keep someone else awake. She then told me, that the person, she was keeping awake, was a guy she had made out with.
I don't know why, but this made me sad. Really really sad. I mean, it's not like i've known her for a while. I got to know her the 30. of December.  And it just confuses me, why i feel like i do. Especially because i don't really myself.

But what i don't understand, is why does this affect me. I mean she's just a girl, and always that nice to me. But the worst part is not only how i feel about all of this. It's that she's Romanian and i am from Denmark. I mean. I don't even know where the fuck Romania is?! So why am i developing, what seems like feelings, for someone i hardly know? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!